Pouring it on

Disco lights awhirl, the DOT car emerged from its hideout under the bridge and pulled up behind Chester Mallow’s ’98 Freightliner. The officer strolled up to the driver’s door and assumed The Stance. “I don’t want your registration, and I don’t want your log book,” he said. “I’d just like to know who did the work on your truck.”

Mallow gets that all the time. Once, when he rolled onto a scale in North Dakota and the red light came on, he expected to hear, “Pull ‘er around.” Instead, a voice floated back, “Okay, we’re finished gawking at the cab, driver. You can pull the trailer axles up any time.”

That’s par for the course when you’re driving an 18-wheeled work of art.

Mallow, an owner-operator contracted to JP Transport in Aubigny, Man., calls his truck Cat Slayer, referring to the woman in the illustrations doing battle with a tiger. The story begins on the outside of the hood. A woman emerges from a cave, walking through a stream of water. The water flows off the hood and onto the fenders. The next painting, on the passenger door, shows the first of her encounters with the big cat; the battle continues on the right side of the sleeper. The painting on the rear wall of the sleeper shows the heroine cleaning and nursing her wounds after the battle. The final picture, on the driver’s door, shows her standing victorious above the cat, sword in hand.

Altogether, Mallow figures there’s close to $7,000 and seven weeks of work in the murals, all tucked under two layers of clearcoat. Much of the work was done by airbrush artist Dale Lawrence in Warren, Man., while the rig was out of commission after Mallow’s co-driver pegged a moose.

When it comes to paint jobs like Mallow’s, you’re either a gawker or a scoffer. Folks in the latter camp say paint adds nothing to the bottom line (Mallow, a money-winner at show-and-shine events, would beg to differ). But whether your truck is monochrome gloss or adorned with a tribute to Elvis, the regimen for paint care is the same. Try these simple tips:
Washing: A long wand, warm water, and an automotive liquid wash agent are as useful as any brush. The water temperature is important, as warm water helps the soap chemically combine with the oils in the dirt and dissolve them into the water. Scalding hot water stresses the paint through thermal shock.

on the Spot: Bird droppings and dead bugs are full of acids that can eat away paint, so act quickly. Bugs are stubborn; a DIY concoction involving vinegar and baking soda probably does the job as well as a commercial bug remover.

Hand washing: The last thing you want under your wash mitten is grit, so before you rub, let the soap soak the dirt so it releases better.

Whenever you rub on paint, whether washing, leathering off, or polishing, use long strokes in the main direction of the panel. Rubbing in circles will eventually produce swirls that are impossible to eliminate.

Rinse Cycle: Use the softest available water supply. If there’s a water softener installed at the shop, plumb in a faucet downstream of the softener to use when washing your trucks-especially if the fleet colours include dark shades that show water spots.

Waxing: The wax you use is a matter of personal preference, and products that are easy to use are not necessarily inferior to those that require a lot of hard work. In fact, an easy-to-use product encourages the application of wax more often.

For Chester Mallow, if there’s a downside to his fancy paint job, it’s this: “I couldn’t tell you how many times I’ve had to repeat the story of the pictures,” he says. “Especially to the judges at the shows.” But for them, he makes time.